Being Here, Now.

“The present moment isn’t the same as the minutes ticking on a clock”, says Deepak Chopra and we couldn’t agree more.

There is no stage that’s calls for living in the here and now more than the parenting arena.

We, the parents not only have the best teachers (our children), but the parenting paradigm is fluid and constantly shifting so quickly that we rarely have time to catch up with our children (and ourselves).

While children are our best examples of being fully in the moment (before we condition them to be otherwise), we the parents are generally overwhelmed and playing catch-up, it would seem.

There are infinite opportunities to regroup, slow down, and join our children’s world, but these windows often close because we are busy “doing”. Whether we are on a screen much like our children or working, chauffeuring, ferrying the kids from home to school to activities or are in a race against the clock to battle homework and bedtime, it is clear we are typically stressed over missed opportunities (the past) or upcoming deadlines (the future).

According to Deepak Chopra, “Children offer a clue, if they are young enough, by not being so conditioned that they conform to society’s framework of life.In that framework it is bad to be late and good to be on time. One fills the time efficiently at work and in a leisurely fashion on vacation or when given some free time”. In other words, time is part of a way of life that we absorbed early on from the people around us, and the whole framework extends to core beliefs about birth and death, growing old, being dominated by memories, hopes, wishes, and fears, all of which are deeply rooted in social conformity”.

So how can we, the parents adapt to living Here and Now? Well, let’s start with my favorite word, NOWHERE. If we are not in the NOW/HERE, we are indeed, NOWHERE.

• First things first: Slow. Down.
• Learn to meditate and open yourself to the possibility of living consciously.
• Be an example: Put. Your. Phone. Down. Focus on the issue unfolding now, as it is. It is now how we got here but rather, we are here, now. The kids are watching YOU.
• Regroup: Whatever happened, happened. Forgive yourself if you need to and return to the now, where your children are waiting to step into the next moment with you.
• Your mind is doing what it is supposed to do – it’s not always right, so try to refrain from following or validating every thought it thinks. Let the thoughts come and release them.
• Worrying is an essential part of life that has long been critical to our survival. Sometimes it ignites us into action and sometimes it serves as a warning that something is wrong. Learn to discern your “good” worries vs. your “bad” worries. Not every worry is valid.
• Life is meant to have ups and downs, so do not seek perfection. It is futile. Instead, prepare yourself and your children to enjoy the peaks and buckle up for the valleys.
• Define what presence means for you by connecting to your true, conscious self. The liberation and joy of being present is within reach and attainable – if you work on it.
• Recognize the belief system you were conditioned to believe in throughout your childhood and know that it is not always true for your authentic self today.
• Start creating your own belief systems and release yourself and your children from the shackles of YOUR old ones.
• Release your attachment to your fears, your failures, and even, successes. That is not who you are but what you have done.
•  Connect with nature. Take an undistracted walk in the park or beach (whatever your neighborhood offers). Fill your lungs with the fresh air and notice/become one with your surroundings.
• Lastly, kids may appear to prefer being indoors, but I hope we can all agree it is because that’s where the electrical outlets for their screens reside! Take them out to play and connect with nature, too.

“Meditation gives you an opportunity to come to know your invisible self. It allows you to empty yourself of the endless hyperactivity of your mind, and to attain calmness. It teaches you to be peaceful, to remove stress, to receive answers where confusion previously reigned”. Wayne Dyer